I am so excited for this book coming out real soon! I’ve added beautiful images by my incredibly talented friend and artist, Rigel Richardson, that you can color as you learn and reflect on all the signs of the zodiac.
Neptune retrograde 25° – 22° Pisces: June 28 – Dec 3, 2022
Saturn Retrograde 25° – 18° Aquarius: June 4 – Oct 23, 2022
Uranus in Taurus: feels like forever
When I was seven, eight or nine, I can’t remember which trip it was, my family and I, with my uncle, aunt, cousin and grandma traveled to two holy places in India, where the Goddess is deeply worshipped. The trips were amazing. I have never felt such abundance. We completed our prayers, felt many memorable scenes and then made the long drive back home.
As it goes with being a young kid, you end up having a little too much fun because you feel like it. On the way back, my cousin, sister and I decided to yell at and scare people out the car window as we drove past them. Not sure exactly what prompted this but the feeling of freedom overtook us as our driver drove through the gorgeous sunlight that day. All the kids were in one van with Nani and the rest of the adults were in the other van.
Despite Nani’s protests, I remember yelling at one newlywed couple stuck at the side of the road trying to fix their scooter to watch out for the snake (saap!) behind them. A few people lost control of their bikes. But we complimented one girl on her beautiful buffaloes in the distance. In the light, their almost black coats looked other-wordly.
Needless to say, we ended up having not one but two flat tires. After the first flat, the parents asked us to stop in a nice manner for fear of universal retribution. The second flat tire is what truly made us stop because that was a difficult one to fix and we kids believed our work was truly done. As everyone lazily lounged back with their fantas waiting for the tire to be fixed, I couldn’t help but take in the breathtaking view of a girl across the street tending to her sea of goats in a large field under a serene afternoon into the sunset. That scene has been in the back of my mind forever.
This memory is so vivid in my being right now. Neptune’s Pisces retrograde must be taking me back to a special spiritual moment as I also view how I might have terrorized others as a seven year old (Aquarius). Recently, I found a deep pain in my lower left side has not gone away even after my procedure a few months ago. It has been brutal. I haven’t been able to sit in a chair. Most of my work is done on the sofa with my leg up, random other places around the house (I assure you I’m working) or the Panera cushion I can tolerate at times.
Something in me a few months ago told me to see an endometriosis specialist, a type of person I possibly saw in a google search and/or mentioned in the comments of an endometriosis support group on Facebook I look to at times for connection and then mentioned later on by a doctor in my doctor’s office in a moment of intense throbbing, twisting pain. Thankfully I had already made the appointment before this moment and I waited five and half months to see a specialist at Magee, who confirmed my suspicions. It is likely I have endometrial growths in deeper areas of my pelvis. I will need a procedure that removes them via excision instead of ablation. We will confirm with a different type of pelvic MRI where my vajayjay will be injected with gel (God help me).
I am relieved but devastated. I am always devastated. Everything comes back to me – the missed opportunities, fun and moments I could have had without this wretched disorder. And the simultaneous weighing against what others don’t have and how lucky I am with ‘all the support I could possibly need.’ It’s hard to feel grateful.
There are many women who don’t have their own bathrooms in this world and/or menstrual products. How many times growing up did I waste so much water sitting in the shower hoping the hot temperature would help soothe my pain? How many times have I gone over not being able to work at a conventional place of work where I could have had some more experience and money only to be treated like a second class citizen because I needed a five minute break? I still question whether I belong there.
How many times have I evaluated when and when not I will have the ability to physically do something, anything, only to have my evaluations proven wrong? And dealing with the endless insensitive comments of others, whether they mean it or not, which they often don’t. At the end of the day, as I sit in my comfortable bed with a cup of tea, the thing that has kept me going is gratitude for that darn old bathroom.
What I would do for the eternal joy of being a seven year old under a brilliant sun riding in that car again free of pain, only God knows. What is surprising to me is how I’m unfortunately thinking about the insensitive and turd-like mannerisms of some white people at this moment. Why is this beautiful memory tarnished with this reality? Why am I writing about it in the same post? I’m having trouble synthesizing what is real from what is unreal and find myself saying over and again in my mind throughout the day: UNREAL.
I just had a woman in her late forties whitesplain and appropriate to me about a creative project. In such a crass way. And I hired her! Forget about professionalism, it seems there is some level of ‘informality’ that can be accessed which I can’t imagine occurring with brown people. And I have dealt with a lot of brown people. And what is it that makes an old white, crusty mediator who has had a career and wants you to be a part of his dying career literally say: “you’re family must be so frustrated with you” as he manipulates you to join his ‘firm’ during covid. I don’t want to be a part of your stupid ‘firm’!
As if the other American bullshit isn’t enough to deal with, I remember years ago, this wretched white guy whose kid I tutored asked me to now tutor his niece. After reading my contract (or so they said it was read), which requires payment upfront, the parent did not bring payment to the first session. I then calmly explain in a sentence why I cannot tutor (and his son forgot to bring payment more than once before) and quietly walk away. I was then barraged with voicemails and emails with him calling me a c*** saying I need psychological help. And the contact (white woman! who owns an educational company!) who referred this turd to me, after he complains to the contact, emails me and says ‘I’m not surprised by his complaints.’ She never met me in person and I hardly spoke with her ever.
I’ve seen my mother deal with many Indian people in the course of her business. It sucks seeing people “bargain” with your mother for twenty dollars when they own half a million to million dollar homes. But hey, it doesn’t suck as bad as a thieving ‘mediator’ and being called the c word. This is hate.
It seems to me that whatever that level of informality is or pattern is, it exists. I feel we need to know within ourselves the type of communication and interaction appropriate for each one of us, asserting it with boundaries (Taurus) and endings while watching for the red flags. We must know our limits (Saturn).
You know, some of us don’t walk around calculating how we’re going to behave and what we’re going to say in this world. I don’t think as I interact with the world everyday ‘okay I’m interacting as a woman so this is what I will or will not say.’ I just think and behave naturally. When I’m triggered, a mix of responses come up. Should we constantly be triggered and our minds and bodies under constant duress and stress where we have to be mindful of how we respond to this? The world’s behavior, as one psychology professor put it, ‘has become so very weird.’
The update (Aug 2022) is I have DIE (deep infiltrating endometriosis) which happens often with those with stage IV endo and adenomyosis, all of which has never been addressed since I was a teenager. I’m so glad to have confirmed that I own death. And other great stuff like hydrosalpinx aka pixy stix. I wish the system worked in a way so I could have had the excision laparascopy option years ago, which is fortunately minimally invasive.
My new book, Poetic Meditations for the Evolutionary Journey, is now available on Amazon It’s full of meditations and poetry that express the energy of each zodiac sign. A great learning or meditative tool. Kindle Ebook version also available.
“This book provides meditations and poetry to help you understand the meaning of all twelve signs of the zodiac beginning from Aries to Pisces. Evolutionary Astrology believes that each sign represents a certain aspect of the human life and psyche on the earth plane. The sign is a sub-journey of the entire human journey through the whole of consciousness represented by the twelve signs.”
“Popular astrology often consists of knowing your Sun sign with many people stating ‘I’m an Aries’ or ‘I’m a Scorpio’ when a discussion about astrology begins. But many don’t know that they also have a Moon sign and other planetary signs. Reading your Sun sign horoscope or understanding your personality traits based on Sun sign astrology definitely has validity but this is just the very tip of the iceberg in the world of astrology.
When you were born, all of the planets including the Sun and the Moon were passing through certain signs, which are different than but related to constellations, relative to the human eye’s position on earth. Aries corresponds to the Aries constellation, Taurus to the Taurus constellation and so on. For example, if you were born in May, then maybe you have the Sun in Aries, the Moon in Gemini, Mercury in Aries, Venus in Taurus, Mars in Sagittarius, Jupiter and Saturn in Scorpio and so on with Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. These planetary signs will equally indicate your personality and aspects of your life just as much as your Sun sign.
The planets represent aspects of your psyche and activate the signs, or our needs and qualities. The Sun represents our well-being and what we come back to to feel whole again. The Moon represents our emotional and feeling body while Mercury shows our thinking and communicating nature. Venus shows how we can achieve balance and the nature of our relationships and Mars shows how we activate our conscious desires and ego. Knowing your planetary signs gives you a much more complete and accurate view of who you are and your life path. You will achieve a more holistic and integrated understanding.”
A Uranus and Venus conjunction happens once almost every year. What a conjunction manifests depends on the nature of the sign the planets conjunct in, or the degree of the zodiac they both ‘collide’ at. On April 22, 2021, they both collided at 10° Taurus. Traditionally ruled by Venus, Taurus energy is determined, devoted and materially creative and resourceful, often the sign of fashion, design, gardening and singing given that it rules the throat chakra and neck. Its’ Venus rulership merges it with Libra territory, giving it artistic ability, such as in dance, and skill in creating harmony, as art is an expression of harmony, symmetry and agreement.
Uranus still has another five years to complete its transit through Taurus. Uranus is an outer planet that guides part of your spiritual journey in evolutionary journey. Its’ mandate is to liberate yourself from the existing structures in your life and to innovate with a spirit of rebellion as you find freedom and new ways of expression. But Uranus’ lightening, electric energy often fulfills its mandate erratically, forcing radical and instantaneous changes and tipping you off your balance and routine.
I felt lots of creativity wanting to express itself recently but was having trouble getting it to flow. It felt as if something new and exciting was coming but hadn’t come yet and the friction kept brewing underneath the surface.
Classical dance is my Libran expression, specifically Indian classical dance, Bharatanatyam. Libra is also cooperation and collaboration and there’s nothing more I love than collaborating with others, artists and non-artists, in creating new works and ideas. This is my life’s breath, and recently I had a chance to get back to my classical Indian dance roots as a couple dance colleagues and I were commissioned to do a video performance for an upcoming virtual convention this summer.
At first my colleagues and I thought we had a couple months to work on our performance but a couple weeks before the Uranus-Venus conjunction, a very early deadline was unexpectedly thrust onto us and we found ourselves working day and night planning, choreographing, rehearsing and editing video. Having to coordinate the video recording of our performance during a continuing pandemic while a couple of us were still waiting to get our second vaccination shots was an additional challenge. There was venting and complaining along the way as we needed to complete everything with electric speed. I realized that the sudden nature of this whole event was Uranus at play.
Interestingly, after joyously dancing for two whole days outside amidst alternating shades of light and dark in the sky turned out be an otherworldly experience and we found ourselves feeling beautifully fulfilled afterwards. Professional and amateur dancers got a chance to work their artistic muscles and create together after a long time. Longstanding ideas were exercised and inventions for the future were stirring. Friendship felt stronger and initial planning around creating with different resources such as film and media occurred. Most importantly, we felt free.
This awesome planet wants you to do something unique as you experience liberation. It forces you into new experiences, painful and joyous, to experience the different. I had never worked with a drone before and was as happy as a delighted little kid when holding dance poses for a flying, buzzing camera above my head even though I couldn’t feel my legs and arms afterwards! Amidst the craziness of these unforeseen circumstances, I was gleeful with a newfound self. The lesson of Uranus is to attain your freedom with even some fun. And with like-minded people.
Instead of focusing on the stress of something unexpected, we can focus on how the experience might lead us to a newfound self. Can we use it to manifest a different part of our selves and even dissolve an outmoded way of functioning? Can we evolve spiritually from it and step into our authenticity? If you can, then you’ve fulfilled a spiritual teaching of Uranus and that’s an accomplishment worth (Taurus) creating for.